Secret Admirer
by Padme Evenstar
Summary: 16year0ld Adi Gallia has a secret admirer, but what she doesn't know is who he is. Who does know? Maybe the 17yearold Padawan in the room next door... AU and angst!
1. The Padawan Next Door

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars.

A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, but more will come, I promise! Please review it!

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**Secret Admirer**

**Chapter 1: The Padawan Next Door**

16-year-old Adi Gallia sat in her Padawan's quarters and pondered. It was no light thing she pondered, either. She was thinking about something that was generally discouraged among the Padawans of the Jedi Temple. Love, romance, that sort of thing. It was not wrong that she should be thinking about these things. Most Padawans were bound to at least think about them. It was the practice of such things that was discouraged. And yet she could not help thinking about how romantic it was. How romantic what was, you ask? Well, the fact is that she had just been walking down the corridor to her room, when she found, just on the floor outside her door, a beautiful flower.

Now, you will agree that this is hardly romantic at all. The flower could have been let fall by chance. But there was a ribbon tied very carefully around the stem of the flower, indicating that it was intentionally put there for her to find. The funny thing was that there was no name on it t at all. A secret admirer, she thought wistfully. Of course it must be a secret. The members of the Jedi Council would have more than a few words to say to anyone who expressed such feelings. and yet, some young Padawan had risked that to let her know how he felt.

All of her wonderful thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. She already knew who it was. _That pesky little twerp, _she thought. _Why can't he give me any peace?_ She went to answer the door anyway. Standing there, just as she expected, was the Padawan from the quarters next to hers. He always seemed to be bothering her about one thing or another. This time it was to tell her that she was late for something again. She was getting tired of it. She glared at him as he stepped back smiling. His tunic was drenched in sweat, his short hair glistening, his Padawan's braid plastered to his neck. She had to admit he was handsome, if she knew anything about handsome, which she did. But he just wasn't the type for her. They had grown up together here, always next door to each other. And he had always been a pest.

He looked her up and down, then remarked with a casual grin, "My goodness, but you look wonderful. You hardly look like you were just at your lightsaber training! In fact, I'll bet the reason for that is that you weren't." He had a rather heavy accent, but it was known as his trademark throughout the Jedi Temple. He had friends among many of the students. In fact, the only enemy he ever had here was dead.

Adi just rolled her eyes. "I was kind of busy," she said. She looked at him and wondered if perhaps he was the one she was trying to figure out. But no, he wasn't the type to disobey the direct orders of the Council. He was brought up that way, and he was 17 now. She didn't think he would go against the express wishes of the Council after all these years.

He looked at her curiously, then asked, "Doing what? Your Master waited for you to show up, but you didn't. She was starting to wonder where you were."

"I was right here, contemplating on something," she answered rather coldly. She didn't at all like the idea of this pesky Padawan always behind her, wondering what she was doing, hanging around waiting for her after her lessons because she was late all the time. _He must think we're best friends_, she thought. He had always acted like this, for as long as she had known him, and yet she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Why? Because she would one day have to break the horrible truth to him that they were never friends. She didn't really understand why he hadn't taken a hint. But here he still was, standing in her doorway, like he had so many other times.

"Contemplating what?" he asked playfully. He knew the answer. She had done this a week ago, when she had found a small durasheet in front of her door. It was a love poem, and would've gotten the entire corridor of Padawans in trouble if one of the Council members had seen it. Fortunately, only one other person had seen it, and that was Qui-gon Jinn. He had advised her to keep it secret, but she had told the Padawan next door. Even if he was a pest, he wouldn't have knowingly gotten her in trouble. He wasn't like that.

She looked at him wondering if she should tell him. Finally, she held up the flower. he stared wide-eyed at it, then asked the question she knew was coming. "Your secret admirer?" She nodded, almost embarrassed at him seeing it. He was suddenly very serious. "Who do you think it is?"

"Obi-wan, stop it! You know that I don't know!" She didn't know why she was suddenly upset at him. It wasn't like it was his fault. She just didn't like the fact that she had a secret admirer and the only one she could tell was the pesky 17-year-old Padawan next door.


	2. She Must Never Know

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, it belongs to George Lucas. I don't own the characters Bant or Garen either, so, as it turns out, all I own is the idea and the plot.

A/N: Thank you to Ladysherlock92 for reviewing! I understand the time-line flaw. This is, after all, AU. Sorry I forgot to clarify that fact in the last chapter! Dont' worry, I'll fix it later!This idea was a result of playing with my best friend. We understood the fact that they weren't Padawans together, but she liked the character anyway, and it was her idea to make them fall secretly in love. I just expanded on the idea by putting them together as Padawans. In case you were wondering who was Obi-Wan in my games with my friend...that was me. Anyway, please keep the reviews coming! And in answer to your other question, well, the first chapter was supposed to get you thinking. But you will find out in this chapter!

I would also like to thank SoloKenobi and vegetakittenfor reviewing. I'm glad you found it interesting! Not many people review my stories besides my dear Master, Eowyn Skywalker, and my brother, Foral McDer, so any reviews are appreciated. Come to think of it, they haven't reviewed this story yet! Weird...anyway...

And now, chapter 2, the chapter that turns angst. Sorry to those of you who dislike angst, but it was unavoidable.

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**Chapter 2: She Must Never Know**

Obi-Wan Kenobi looked at the dark-skinned girl, nodded, then turned back to his own quarters. He understood her frustration. he had the same frustration himself. Although not quite the same. He closed and locked the door, then flopped over onto the cot in the corner. He took a deep breath, then sat back up. It was very exhausting trying to keep up this secret. _Why can't I just tell her?_ he asked himself. He sighed as the answer once again surfaced in his mind. _Because I'd get thrown out of the Order, that's why._ He went through the same argument with himself every time. He wanted so much to tell her how he felt, but he knew he couldn't. She would tell someone else, and before long news would reach the Council, and he would be in big trouble. That's why he kept quiet about it. But he couldn't just sit still. Even if she couldn't know who he was, he could still let her know how he felt. He could see by the look on her face whenever she saw what he had left that she was pleased. Even though they both knew she shouldn't be.

Obi-Wan sighed in frustration. He knew he should not be thinking like this, but he couldn't help it. He had known that he had at least some feelings for her since before he could remember. But she had also disliked him for just as long. He didn't know why she didn't like him. Maybe it was the fact that he always seemed to get the better of her in a conversation, maybe it was the fact that he bettered her in lightsaber practice every time. Whatever the reason, he had simply played along with it, pretending that he didn't like her either.

He stood up and looked around his quarters, wondering what he should do next. His mind was practically blank, like it usually was after something like that. He was about to lie back down when someone knocked on his door. He went to open it, his mind racing to figure out who it might be. It was Garen, Clee Rhara's student, and his best friend. Garen walked into the room and glanced around, then turned to Obi-Wan, his bright blue eyes catching the struggle his friend was in. Garen Muln was the only other person who knew the truth about Adi's secret admirer. "Her again?" he asked, but he already knew. He hated to see the way this situation was eating up his friend. Obi-Wan nodded, staring at nothing. He closed the door again and walked over to the sleep couch, once again sitting down on the edge of it. He looked up at Garen, then put his head in his hands and fell backwards onto the bed. Garen shook his head and looked at his friend. "Why don't you just tell her?" he wondered out loud. "It would take a whopper of a load off your mind."

Obi-Wan didn't look up, just lay there and shook his head. "I couldn't do that," he answered. "You don't know how much trouble I would be in if she found out. She doesn't even like me! My best chance with her is if she never knows." Garen nodded. He understood his friend's fear of getting thrown out of the Order, but he still didn't like the fact that Obi-Wan kept it all inside. There must be someone else they could tell. It might help him lose some of this stress he was giving himself.

"I know," Garen said. "I just don't like to see you like this. I mean, just look at yourself! You haven't been eating, you don't sleep. I just feel like I ought to do something about it."

Obi-Wan sat straight up and stared at Garen. "How did you know I can't sleep?" he asked.

Garen smiled. "You've been so caught up thinking about her that you don't notice that I see it all. It's eating you up inside, Obi-Wan. You have got to at least tell someone. And I mean someone besides me, 'cause I don't count." Obi-Wan looked at his friend. He knew Garen was right, but who wouldn't get him in trouble? Garen interrupted his thoughts once more. "Why don't we go get something to eat? Bant said she'd be in the dinner hall waiting for us." Obi-Wan nodded and followed Garen out the door. "Besides," Garen added in a low voice as soon as they were out in the hall, "telling Bant might help."

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Bant waited impatiently in the dinner hall of the Jedi Temple. The large room was full of Jedi students, but it was beginning to empty. A few groups still lingered around, talking about this, that, and such. She glanced toward the door and finally saw what she had been waiting to see. Her soft yellow eyes widened in delight as the two tall teenaged students hurried in the door, her salmon-colored skin glowed with pleasure as they ran toward her. She looked at first one, then the other, and her pleasure vanished. She knew something was wrong. She looked at Garen. The two of them had been worried about Obi-Wan for some time, but something told her that she was soon going to find out what was going on. Garen confirmed this. "Don't worry," he told her. "He's going to tell you everything." The Mon Calamari led the two boys to an empty table and the three sat down. Obi-Wan's eyes dropped to the table. He was not prepared to tell Bant, but he knew he probably should. He just couldn't bring himself to, so he waited for her to ask again, hiding in the silence that suddenly filled the large room. Almost everyone else had left. 

After a moment, Bant could stand it no longer. "Obi-Wan, what's been going on?" she asked anxiously as she turned to him. "Garen and I have been very worried about you. Please tell me." Obi-Wan looked up at her, his usually flashing blue eyes dull, yet filled with something she had never seen before. She had asked, and now the moment he had been dreading had come. He glanced up at the ceiling and took a deep breath, then turned back to Bant.

Bant waited expectantly, almost panicking, hoping this wasn't anything serious. If something had happened to her friend, she didn't know what she would do. Obi-Wan saw the concern in her eyes and tried to get it over with as soon as possible. He didn't want Bant to think there was something wrong. "It's nothing serious," he assured her. "It actually has to do with Adi's secret admirer." He knew Adi had talked to her friends about him. She trusted them to keep her secret safe, and Bant was one of her most trusted friends. The tough thing was she was one of Obi-Wan's most trusted friends as well.

Bant was relieved at this, and was immediately more at ease. "Does it now?" she said, visibly more relaxed than before, although she was still worried. She couldn't imagine what this had to do with her friend's health. However, she tried not to show it. "I was just talking to her before you guys came in here," she continued in a light tone. "She was talking about how she found a flower in front of her door this morning. As a matter of fact, she couldn't stop thinking about it, or asking me if I knew who it was that was leaving stuff there. I wish I could tell her, but I don't have the slightest idea." Bant's easy voice only succeeded in unsettling Obi-Wan, but this time there was no hiding from the one thing he had to tell her. Bant got right to it, noting Obi-Wan's sudden discomfort. "What do you know about it?"

Garen cleared his throat loudly and looked away, not wanting to see the pain on his friends' faces as one tried to force it out, and the other tried to grasp it. Obi-Wan's voice was so thick he could hardly get the words out. Bant didn't seem to understand his torment, so she just looked at Obi-Wan and waited. She was beginning to get very worried again. Finally, he got it out, though it was rather choked and must have been hard to understand. "It's me," he muttered, his voice cracking with the effort, the words nearly getting caught in his throat. He struggled for breath, recovering from the shock of finally disclosing his secret to someone, as Bant stared at him, almost uncomprehending. His eyes dropped back to the table as he realized that she was probably wondering how in the world she had become friends with such a scoundrel. She must have sensed his thoughts, as she smiled and shook her head, her soft yellow eyes moistening at the thought of what her friend had just told her.

Garen heard the silence and turned back to find Obi-wan with his arms and head down on the table, and Bant looking at him compassionately. She turned to Garen and asked silently, "You knew, didn't you?" Garen nodded. It was an unnecessary question, of course. Garen had known, but hadn't told Bant, thinking it was best that Obi-Wan told her himself. Garen could see the obvious disgrace his friend was experiencing, and felt even worse for him. There must have been something he could do. "Do you want to talk about it?" Bant asked. Obi-Wan shook his head as he took a deep breath and leaned back, covering his face with his hands. He knew Bant wouldn't tell anyone, but he still couldn't believe he had just given away his biggest secret. He ran his hands hastily across his face to hide the fact that something besides the sweat from the lightsaber training earlier had been running down it. Bant turned to him again and told him, "I won't tell her, I promise. I'm not sure I understand what you're going through, but I can see now what's been eating you. I'm sorry I haven't been able to understand before."

Obi-Wan held up a hand to stop her and leaned forward again. He didn't want his friends to feel responsible for his problem. "It's not your fault," he assured her. He closed his eyes and heaved a deep sigh. He was frustrated, tense, humiliated, and he knew his Master would be able to feel it. Right now he didn't care much about that. He was just thinking about what his friends might be thinking of him, a rule-breaker, almost inevitably to be thrown out of the Temple. He couldn't drag them along with him. He didn't even know if they would want him around anymore. What good was he anyway? Brought up for 17 years to abandon such feelings and the first time he felt it he couldn't get rid of it. He could feel the emotion welling up again and put his face in his hands. Then he felt something he never expected. A hand on one shoulder, a fin on the other. He looked up to see both his friends looking determinedly at him.

Garen spoke first. "You aren't dragging us down with you. We're going with you voluntarily." They had obviously read his thoughts, considering their incredibly strong bond to each other. The trio had been friends for as long as they had known each other. This had resulted in a strong connection between them all which kept them together through the toughest of situations. Bant smiled at him again.

"We do still want you around," she said, her voice full of sympathy as she pondered what the young Padawan thought of himself. She looked over at Garen and continued. "We won't tell anyone. Your secret is safe with us. I'm glad you told me, and I understand that it must have been very hard for you, but that only makes me appreciate it even more. Now, let's get you back to your quarters. You've had a long day, and you need your rest." Obi-Wan didn't argue, simply followed the other two out the door and into the hall toward his room. He was suddenly very exhausted, and, though he tried to keep going, he stumbled to his knees. Bant and Garen stopped and looked back, concern evident in their faces. Obi-wan tried to stand, but merely succeeded in slumping against the wall. He closed his eyes. He couldn't handle this kind of emotional stress; he just wasn't used to it. Garen went to help him up, but a firm, strong hand came down on his shoulder. He turned to see a tall Jedi Master, Obi-Wan's Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. Garen moved aside for him and glanced worriedly in Obi-Wan's direction.

"Allow me," Qui-Gon said gently. "I wish to speak with him anyway." Obi-Wan just sat there, not wondering what had happened, not even wondering whether his friends were coming to help him. He just sat there with his eyes closed, exhaustion covering him and dulling his senses. He was slipping into a black pit of nothingness, until he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes to see his Master bending over him concernedly. He could hardly focus on the faces behind the tall figure as he began slipping into unconsciousness again. Qui-Gon shook him gently, then helped him to his feet. Obi-Wan nearly collapsed again, but his Master caught him and carried him to his quarters.

When they had arrived at Obi-Wan's room, Qui-Gon laid him down on his sleep couch, then turned to the other two. His piercing blue eyes searched the two Padawans standing in the center of the room. He finally broke the silence with the one question the pair was hoping he wouldn't ask them. "Can either of you explain his strange condition?" he asked skeptically. He knew at least one of them knew the reason, but the question he was asking himself was whether or not that one was going to tell him. If not, his Padawan was obviously hiding something from him. If that was true, it must be something particularly unsettling, or else Obi-Wan would not have kept it from him. Obi-Wan did not keep many things from his Master.

Garen glanced at Bant in a questioning gesture, then answered the Jedi Master as best he could without going against his promise to his friend. "He was overly stressed," he said simply. Qui-Gon's eyebrows rose in suspicion. He could sense that Garen was not telling everything, but he didn't press the point. _This must be quite serious_, he thought to himself. He dismissed the two and closed the door. There was little he could do until his Padawan returned to consciousness, which, if he was really overly stressed, would most likely be some time. He sat down on the floor in the center of the room and meditated while he waited for his Padawan to come around.

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A/N: Please keep on reviewing! 


	3. Why Didn't You Tell Me?

A/N: I know this chapter is rather short, and it makes it seem like the story is over, but believe me, it's not! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Ahem, yes...sorry...Yes, I know Master, Shade's job...don't ask!

Eowyn Skywalker: Meh...I'll leave it. It's my own style, and I'm just too darn lazy to change it! And NO, Jandalf is NOT supposed to get him, not in this one! If Adi wasn't already taken, maybe _he'd_ be my love interest in RotS...but I resorted to Frodo 'cause he was the only one I could think of at the time...And you don't have a copyright on Shadow's name, so I chose a different personnality for her...Padmé! OK, maybe, maybe not, not quite sure yet...and I don't care if she'd not Force-sensitive!

SoloKenobi: So sorry for you! Really, I am. I don't know how that feels, 'cause I don't have a boyfriend...yet...no implications there...anyway, this is for you! (and you, Master...and Jandalf, I guess...)

vegetakitten: Thank you for continuing to review! I'm glad you like it!

And now, chapter three, in which something very startling occurs to our hero...(mwahahahaha!)

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**Chapter 3: Why Didn't You Tell Me?**

Obi-Wan was suddenly wide awake. He wasn't sure where he was, or how he had gotten there, but he was aware of a pounding in his temples. He tried to sit up, but the pounding just increased, so he just lay still and tried to remember where he was. He rubbed his head to try to relieve the pain, but the effort of thinking canceled it out. The last thing he remembered was talking to Bant about his secret, then he had vague recollection of walking down the corridor to his room. Beyond that, he could remember nothing else. He put a hand to his forehead as the pain intensified, then worked on clearing his mind. _Why_, he asked himself, _why did this have to involve the one lesson I was never good at? Well, maybe not the only lesson, but still, I was never good at this._ He glanced around the room and recognized it as his own. Then he caught sight of his Master sitting on the floor with his eyes closed, meditating. He held his breath, hoping he wouldn't be noticed, but it was too late. "It is good to have you back, Padawan," Qui-gon said quietly. He could sense his Padawan's confusion and disorientation, and also his pain, but didn't say anything at the moment. He wanted to see how his protege handled the circumstances, and whether or not it would help him figure out what was wrong. He waited patiently, his eyes still closed.

Obi-Wan recognized the test immediately and tried his best to clear his mind. He knew that his Master was monitoring his thoughts, and if Qui-gon sensed the real distress he was in, Obi-wan would be in severe trouble. He steered away from memories of revealing his secret and focused on his fleeting memory of walking down the passageway to his quarters. Qui-gon was at first pleased that his apprentice focused on what he could not remember instead of what he could, but then began to wonder if maybe this had something to do with what his Padawan was hiding. Obi-Wan strained to figure it out, but succeeded only in nearly passing out again. He lay still once more and tried to relax, but simply could not remember what had happened. At last, Qui-gon spoke. "I carried you here," he told his Padawan. "You had passed out in the hall, and your friends, Bant and Garen, were going to help you, but I stopped them so that I could speak with you." Obi-Wan knew what was coming next. His Master must have sensed his disquiet just like Garen had. In fact, he wondered if the entire Temple knew there was something wrong with him.

Qui-gon sensed some kind of dread in his Padawan, but continued anyway. He needed to find out what was bothering his student, and that involved, however much he disliked it, causing some kind of discomfort to Obi-Wan. If he could have spared Obi-Wan the discomfort, he would have, but it was unavoidable in this situation. "Obi-Wan, we need to talk. You have been acting rather strangely lately, and I'm beginning to get worried about you. Now, please tell me what is going on." Obi-Wan didn't answer. He didn't want his Master to know about Adi, but he didn't know how much more emotional strain he could manage. Maybe his Master _could_ help. Maybe...

Qui-gon could sense his Padawan learner pondering his options. Obviously there was something Obi-Wan didn't want him to know about. He couldn't imagine what his appentice could be hiding from him. He wondered if perhaps he could probe his Padawan's mind for the answer. Then he realized Obi-Wan might be able to sense his probing and try to block him out. He couldn't have that, not when he was so close to an answer. He decided to try anyway. He shut his eyes and reached out to his apprentice, groping for a short moment for his mind, then found it. He thought perhaps, if he was gentle enough at first, he might get in undetected. He was wrong. He disappointedly sensed a panicked block in his student's mind. He sighed inwardly, then resorted to his one choice. He forced his way through the block in his Padawan's mind, probing deeper and being more harsh about it. He could feel pain there as he forced the block away. It was difficult, but he succeeded in seeing the one thing Obi-wan was hiding. It shocked him so much he almost lost his grip on his Padawan's mind. He couldn't believe his Padawan could be capable of such misdeeds. He released Obi-Wan of his hold and opened his eyes. He saw his apprentice was sweating, breathing hard from the effort of keeping his mind from Qui-gon's probing. He wondered what damage he had caused, but soon realized he had done nothing to harm Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan finally relaxed when he felt his Master remove himself from his mind. He could not have imagined such pain from fighting his Master's probing. He hoped Qui-gon had not found anything, but he could not be sure. All he could be completely sure of at the moment was that his headache had gotten much worse. He tried to steady his breathing, but couldn't. He wiped the sweat from his forehead and opened his eyes. He saw his Master looking at him with an unbelieving look on his face. He immediately knew he had been found out. Qui-gon stared at him, making sure that Obi-Wan felt his Master's disappointment. Obi-  
Wan looked away, embarrassed that his Master had found out his secret. Qui-gon just kept gazing at him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked firmly. Obi-Wan stared at the ceiling, silently wishing he were somewhere else. He deliberately pretended he hadn't heard Qui-gon's question, but couldn't refuse it much longer. Qui-gon knew he wouldn't stay quiet long. He rarely did, especially when he was under such pressure. Obi-Wan finally took a deep breath and turned to face Qui-gon. He wasn't sure what to say, or if there was anything to say, but he felt like he should say _something_. He dropped his eyes to the floor in shame. Qui-gon naturally felt his misery and became slightly more lenient, although not much. His face softened as he watched his apprentice struggle to find something to say. He sighed as he saw that perhaps his own shock had caused it to seem like more of an issue than it should have been made out to be. He looked at him again. "You know you shouldn't think like that," he said, more sympathetically than firmly.

Obi-Wan caught the tone in his voice and looked up at him gratefully. "I know," he muttered ruefully. "I was afraid of what would happen to our relationship if you ever found out." Qui-gon was confounded by this comment. Obi-Wan sensed his surprise and tried to explain. "I thought you would be angry with me for going against the Code, so I hid my feelings in fear of being thrown out of the Order." Qui-gon saw what his Padawan was saying. He had been afraid that others thought as little of him as he thought of himself. This fear had influenced him to keep his feelings secret, apprehensive that he might be expelled for a simple feeling. Qui-gon smiled at the thought. His apprentice had been brought up well, though fear of one's feelings was not good.

"You should have told me, Padawan," he said softly. "If you had, I might have been able to help you through this. Next time, don't keep these things from me, alright?" Obi-Wan nodded his agreement. He was glad it was over, and now that his Master knew, he would have to do his best to forget about Adi Gallia. But as the years went by, he never really forgot his true feelings.

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PLEASE KEEP THE REVIEWS COMING! 


	4. It's All Behind Me Now Or is It?

A/N: Thank you all for your continued reviews! I am working on making a poster for this story, and it should be finished as soon as a I get a good pic of a Mon Calamari for Bant, not to mention a pic that doesn't look too much like Ani for Garen...check my bio for the link!

Solokenobi: So sorry you have to go through the same thing as the character I'm trying to work with! Thank you for continuing to read and review! I was looking at your list of favorites and noticed that you like romance and Star Wars combinations...

Alpha-331: I'm glad you thought it was good! Keep reading, it's going to get better!

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**Chapter 4: It's All Behind Me Now...Or is It?**

Garen Muln waited at the spaceport for his passengers. He was in his mid twenties now, with shoulder-length sandy hair and sparkling blue eyes. Since he had finished his training at the Jedi Temple, he had gone on to become a pilot, transporting Jedi to various missions and assignments. He had not yet taken an apprentice. Indeed, he considered himself too immature to take a Padawan, though Master Yoda had encouraged him to do so. He sighed and checked the chronometer on the dash board of the ship. Late. Usually he was the one who was late, but not his time. He wasn't even sure who was supposed to be coming, but he was sure that whoever was coming was not there on time. He had been told that he was going to be part of a Jedi team that was being sent to Kashyyyk to settle territorial disputes between the Wookies and Trandoshans. A dangerous mission, if anyone asked him, which they weren't. Not something he would've chosen himself if he had the choice, which he didn't. In short, he was stuck.

Garen glanced at the doors where the other four Jedi were supposed to appear. They were very late. He turned his attention to something on the seat next to him and thought about his friends from his childhood at the Temple. He could still remember clearly that frightening day that Obi-Wan had come to his room to talk after he had told Bant his secret.

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_"He knows, Garen."_

_"What, did you tell him? 'Cause I didn't, and Bant didn't, you can count on that. We would never let you down, and you know it!"_

_"No, I didn't tell him. And I know you would never tell on me. You and Bant are great friends, I have no doubt about that."_

_"Then how did he find out? It's not like she told him, 'cause she didn't know, either, right?"_

_"No, Garen. He probed me."_

_"HE WHAT!"_

_"I know, shocking, isn't it? That he would mind probe his own apprentice? He did it because I wouldn't tell him straight out. I suppose I frustrated him, but I was worried about our relationship. I told him so, too."_

_"I know you were worried. I tried to tell you it might have been better if you had just told him right away."_

_"Yes, you did, Garen."_

_"So, is everything OK with you two? You and your Master, I mean."_

_"Yes, everything is all right. He told me he was sorry I had to go through all that alone, and he wished that I had told him sooner so he could've helped me through it all. He told me to just forget about her."_

_"Are you, Obi-Wan? Are you going to just forget all about her?"_

_"I already have, Garen. It's all behind me now. But you must still never mention this to anyone!"_

_"Oh, don't worry, I won't!"  
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* * *

_Garen was jerked out of his memory by the sound of arguing. Someone was coming across the loading platform toward the ship. To be more precise, four someones. Four Jedi, and two of them were arguing as if they were still young. One was female, that much he could tell from this distance, and seemed to be the less pleased of the pair. The other was male, and looked like he was having a fine time of pestering the young woman. The other two, a Mon Calamari and a ten-year-old Padawan boy, were walking alongside and laughing at the two debaters. Garen wondered what they were doing there, then realized that they must be the rest of his Jedi team. He chuckled to himself. _If I thought I was immature, I must never have seen these two_, he thought. 

As the bickering pair came closer, he was able to hear some of what they were saying. He noticed that the young man had a heavy accent. "And don't you ever, ever speak to me like that again!" the female warned. The young man laughed. "Like what?" he asked playfully. "Oh, you mean like this, don't you?" The dark-skinned woman was clearly exasperated. "You always act so innocent," she almost yelled. "You know, I think you had something to do with that secret admirer thing. And to think I trusted you with such information!" Garen suddenly knew who they were, though the younger Padawan's name eluded him. He could see the visible slump of the young man's shoulders as he suddenly grew very serious. "Let's not bring that up, please," he said quietly. "I already told you before, I don't want to talk about it."

The Padawan spoke next in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Gee, Master, and you're always telling me not to pick fights," he said mischievously. The older one glanced down at him. "I didn't start that one," he said defensively. It was the Mon Calamari's turn to speak. "Oh, yes you did, and you know it!" she said, smiling, her large yellow eyes glowing with happiness. She had caught the fleeting concern on the Padawan's face and agreed that it was time to lighten things up between the other two before things got too tense. They were a lighthearted group, and the looming danger of the mission ahead didn't seem to have an impact on them much.

Garen moved to the door of the ship to greet his passengers. As he came closer, the faces of the three he knew showed recognition, two of them pure delight. The fourth one had eyes only for the ship. "Oh, man, look at that ship, Master!" the boy exclaimed in excitement. He was a strange one, and Garen didn't remember ever seeing him before. But, of course, he hadn't been back to the Temple for more than a year. But still, this boy was nearly eleven. Surely he had been at the Temple before Garen left the last time? No, Garen could not recall ever having seen this boy before. He turned to the young Padawan and saw the delight in his eyes as the boy turned and looked right back at him. "Do _you_ pilot that ship? You're so lucky! My Master says..."

He was interrupted by the older one, who appeared to also be in his mid twenties, with short dark hair and flashing blue eyes that seemed to secretly be on the lookout for some kind of mischief to cause. But he was also much older and more mature-looking than Garen remembered him. "Anakin, your manners," he reminded the young student. The boy, Anakin, seemed suddenly to remember his place and hastily bowed to Garen, then immediately returned to examining the ship's exterior. "I'm so sorry," the Master apologized for his student. "He really can be a handful. I apologize for any inconvenience." He suddenly stopped and noticed that Garen was smiling at him rather roguishly. "You're laughing at me, aren't you?" he asked.

Garen just laughed all the more. "No," he answered. "I was just thinking about how strange the concept of you with a Padawan sounds." He looked at the young man and was suddenly more serious. "It's good to see you again, Obi-Wan. You don't know how good!" Obi-Wan smiled back at him, then turned to Bant, who then proceeded to hug Garen in a friendly gesture. Garen greeted Adi Gallia, then turned back to Anakin, Obi-Wan's Padawan learner. "So, you like ships, Anakin?" he asked the eager youth. Anakin nodded vigorously. "I think you'll especially like this one," Garen told him. "How'd you like to help me out in the cockpit?"

The young student's eyes went wide with excitement. "Can I really?" he asked. Then his shoulders drooped. "My Master probably won't let me. He likes me to stay where he can see me at all times. He thinks I'll cause some kind of trouble or something."

Garen glanced over at Obi-Wan, then back at Anakin. "Oh, I think we can fix that," he said teasingly. "I think your Master will spend quite some time in the cockpit himself. You see, I'm a good friend of his, and we haven't seen much of each other in a while." Anakin seemed very much pleased by this. Garen turned back to the other three. "Well," he said, pretending to be very disappointed, "I think we ought to get moving. You guys took long enough to get here. You kept me waiting for at least an hour, maybe more." This was met by hearty laughter from all four of the old friends, and they headed up the ramp.

* * *

"You haven't completely forgotten, have you?" Garen asked. He could see the way Obi-Wan looked at her, the pain in his face as he remembered what he had gone through because of her. Obi-Wan looked up at him, confused, then he caught on to what Garen was saying. He shook his head almost sadly. His flashing eyes were dull again, like they used to get at the age of 17 whenever he was thinking about Adi. He had said it was all behind him, but it wasn't. He sat there staring at nothing. They had gone into hyperspace some time ago, and the other passengers had retired to the onboard sleeping quarters, but Obi-Wan couldn't sleep. He was on a mission with a woman he had been trying fornine years to forget. To say the least, it was very unsettling. 

Garen looked at his old friend. He was beginning to get worried again, and why shouldn't he? Obi-Wan was beginning to show the exact same symptoms of emotional stress that he did nine years ago. Garen wondered if the young Jedi would be any more capable of handling it than he was the first time. He also wondered how many times he had gone through it since they had last seen each other. He sensed something and turned toward the door. Bant was standing there, looking at the two of them. She understood what was going on. Their bond was still just as strong as it had been when they were young. She came in and sat down next to Obi-Wan. Garen switched the ship to autopilot and pivoted his chair around to face them.

Bant put a fin on Obi-Wan's shoulder. "Are you going to be all right?" she asked. Obi-Wan nodded. Garen had told her about his conversation that day after Qui-Gon had probed his apprentice for the truth about his secret love. She thought once more about that day, her concern about her friend, her relief that he was finally moving past it, her suspicions that he might not be able to completely let it go. She was soon lost in a nine-year-old memory of the past.

* * *

_"Bant, Qui-Gon knows. About Obi-Wan and Adi."_

_"How? We didn't tell him. Did Obi-Wan tell him?"_

_"No, he was mind probed. There was nothing he could do to hide it."_

_"Oh, this is all my fault!"_

_"No, it's not, Bant. It's nobody's fault."_

_"So he just gave up?"_

_"No, he told me he tried to block Qui-Gon, but the Master was the stronger."_

_"Is he hurt? Jedi Master mind probing can be painful, I hear. Is he all right?"_

_"He's fine, Bant. He said Qui-Gon told him to forget about her."_

_"That's good. At least he won't have any more stress breakdowns."_

_"Maybe."_

_"Did he, Garen? Did he forget about her?"_

_"He said he did. He said it's all behind him now."_

_"I don't think it is. Just watch, Garen Muln. We'll see his feelings for her rise once more. And when that time comes, we need to be ready. We need to be there for him so that this doesn't happen again!"  
_

_

* * *

Bant thought about how right she had been that day as she gazed at her troubled friend. The hard thing was that there was no Master to go to this time, or to keep things from, as the case may have been. She felt so sorry for this young man. She felt like she ought to do something about it, something to ease his pain and distress. But there was nothing to do. He had to handle this on his own as best he could. All she could do was be there to support him if he needed her to._

* * *

Adi Gallia couldn't sleep that night. Her mind was restless, tossing and turning with her until she could no longer stand it. She was thinking about Qui-Gon, the one person she had really trusted when it came to her secret admirer. He was always so strong, so wise. Now she had the feeling that old emotions had reawakened, and this time there was nobody to go to.

She heard something near the door and turned to see what it was. A tall figure stood there, almost seeming to wonder whether to enter or not. Then it seemed to see her and nearly make up its mind to leave, but something made it stay. The figure turned its head away in embarrassment when it realized that she had seen it, the small bit of light in the corridor catching its face. It was Obi-Wan. Adi was surprised. She was used to his flashing eyes, his roguish grin, his playful, mischievous behavior. She wasn't used to seeing him like this, flustered, tense, restless, his eyes clouded and dull, his shoulders bent by some mental weight. She wondered if his pestering had come from something besides good-natured playfulness. But once again she dismissed the idea, like she had so many times before. But something tugged at her, begging her to think of it differently. She fought against it, trying to bring it down to an absolute "No."

_Suppose he was your secret admirer? _No, she had already ruled out that possibility. _Suppose it's different than you think?_ But no, it couldn't be, could it? There was only one way to find out. _Ask him!_ But he had already passed her off every time before. _Maybe it was because of the company he was in._ But they were his best friends. If he was her secret admirer, he would have told them, wouldn't he? _But what about his apprentice. Maybe he didn't want to set a bad example._ Then he really should have thought of that before. _Suppose he really loves you. Then _you're_ the one passing_ him_ off._ She had never thought of it like that before. But what was she supposed to do? She didn't know for sure yet.

She looked up at the doorway again. He was still there, leaning on the doorjamb, his head bent as if in thought. She had a clear view of his face, and was startled by what she saw there. His face was twisted by some unknown pain he was experiencing. She felt truly sorry for him, and wondered what was causing him so muchtorment. There was only one way to find out, but she put it off as a long-ago conversation surfaced in her memory.

* * *

_"Well, you won'tbe finding anything in front of your door anymore."_

_"Why not?"_

_"You sound disappointed, Adi."_

_"Oh, no, of course not! I was just wondering."_

_"Very well. I found your secret admirer, that's all I can say."_

_"Who is it?"_

_"You mean, 'who _was_ it.' I won't say just yet. Perhaps some other time, when he has forgotten about these feelings. I spoke with him, and I don't think you will be bothered again."_

_"Yes, Qui-Gon. Thank you. I'm sorry if it was a problem."_

_"It was no problem at all, Adi. I was glad to help you. Now, if you will excuse me, my Padawan is not feeling well today. I must see to him."_

_"All right, well, goodbye, Qui-Gon."  
_

_

* * *

_She remembered the disappointment she had felt at the prospect of not getting anything else from her secret admirer. She had to admit she had enjoyed it while it lasted. Those feelings of regret were resurfacing, and she had the impression that Obi-Wan knew something about her childhood secret admirer. She had just made up her mind to ask him when she looked up and noticed that he had left. She was too late. Once again she had to put it off to eat her up inside, gnawing at her until she went out of her mind. She lay back down as exhaustion took hold of her. She was soon fast asleep.

* * *

A/N: Hope you all like this one! It's really going to get interesting! 


	5. Early Landing

A/N: FINALLY, the next chapter! Sorry about the wait!

InsaneJediGirl: I'm glad you like it! I will keep writing. In fact, I've got ideas to make a trilogy of sequels!

Mystress Daedra: Ummm... OK, well, here's more... I don't think I've ever gotten a review that was so straightforward and to the point...

SoloKenobi: I suppose I must agree with you. The romance stories are good, as long as they stay... well, safe, if you know what I mean... never mind...

Well, I suppose that is it for shout-outs... did I do them for the last chapter? Ah, well... check my bio for links to the poster I made. Poster made by Eowyn Skywalker may be coming soon. And, Master, please review or I'll have to send you the chapters to beta read! wonders how much like a threat that sounds

OK... I'll stop talking now... next chapter!

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**Chapter 5: An Early Landing**

Garen leaned forward in his seat and studied the data readouts for the ship. Obi-wan had left some time ago, and he and Bant were left alone in the cockpit. They were nearing Kashyyyk, and Garen had just discovered that they were low on fuel. They weren't going to make it to their landing base. They would have to land early and walk the rest of the way. He and Bant weren't worried, and they didn't think the others would be either. They had all seen worse before.

Bant walked into the sleeping quarters and found Anakin just waking up. Adi was still sleeping, but Obi-wan looked like he hadn't even shut his eyes. Bant was concerned, but right now they had to prepare for an emergency landing. Garen had decided to push their fuel as far as it would go, which was dangerous, but would get them as close as they could get to their destination. Bant shook Adi gently, then turned to Anakin and Obi-wan. As soon as Adi was awake, Bant announced to them all, "We are nearing Kashyyyk, but it seems we are too low on fuel to make it to our destination. Garen said it's not going to be smooth landing, but he is going to get as close as he can. We will still need to walk the rest of the way."

Bant sat down next to Obi-wan and waited. Anakin looked excited, but Adi was worried. "The territorial dispute will become a war before we get there," she commented. She didn't like the thought of walking along the surface of Kashyyyk. There were terrible carnivorous predators living down there, which was the reason the Wookie natives lived in tall trees high above the ground. She was more worried about the inexperienced Padawan, though, than herself. At least, that's what she told herself. She found herself thinking once again of Obi-wan's pained face the night before, wondering if his preoccupied state would affect his ability to defend himself. She suddenly realized what she was thinking about and quickly wrenched her mind away from the topic. She had been thinking more and more about him, and she didn't know why.

"Brace yourselves!" Garen shouted from the cockpit. "We're coming up on Kashyyyk!" Anakin looked through the viewport and saw the tree-infested surface coming up hard to meet them. All of his excitement was soon gone. He glanced nervously at his Master.

"Are we going to crash?" he asked anxiously. He didn't like the idea of what Garen was doing. They might not survive a crash like that. Obi-wan could feel his apprentice's nervousness, and completely understood it, but there was no reason to fear for their lives. Garen was a good pilot. Not just a fair pilot, mind you. He was one of the best pilots in the Core worlds.

"We'll be fine, Padawan," he assured his nervous apprentice. He glanced over at the other passengers. They didn't seem to be worried, but there was something close to fear in Adi's eyes. She had obviously never flown with Garen before.

Anakin glanced again out the viewport at the quickly rising ground beneath him. He turned away and closed his eyes, gripping the sides of his seat. There was a hard jolt that nearly knocked everyone off their seats, then the ship came to an abrupt stop. There was silence in the sleeping quarters as the passengers all recovered from the shock. Then Garen broke it. "We've arrived at Kashyyyk in one piece! Please gather your belongings and head for the main exit. Thank you."

The passengers all rose and headed toward the ramp. Anakin seemed to find Garen's remarks amusing. "So, kid, what did you think of that landing?" Garen asked as he joined the rest of the team outside. The ship was not too badly damaged, but it was not functioning, and it had no fuel left at all.

Anakin nodded, an astonished look in his eyes. "That was amazing," he said breathlessly. Garen smiled, then turned to the dense forest around them. They were in a small clearing, surrounded by trees, trees, and more trees. It would be a long, hard walk to the city ofKapitenotchen where their negotiations were to take place.

Garen took out a locator and pointed off into the forest. "It's that way," he said, glancing around at the other Jedi. They started off into the forest of wroshyr trees in the direction that Garen had indicated. Anakin seemed unhappy about having to walk the entire way, but followed his Master into the darkness without a word.

* * *

They walked on for hours, pausing to rest occasionally. It was beginning to get dark, so they found a place to spend the night. It was a circle of tall trees with a small clear space between their knobby roots. Garen dropped his pack and sat down with his back against one of the great trees. "This looks good enough," he said. He was out of breath and his legs were getting sore. Adi sat down next to him, heartily agreeing. She was also ready to call it a night. Obi-wan, Bant, and Anakin did likewise. 

After they had rested a while, Garen and Anakin went off in search of fallen branches that would serve as a shelter. As he followed Garen through the forest, Anakin couldn't help thinking that the trees seemed forever tall and ominous, and that they seemed to be leaning down toward them as if they were displeased with the arrival of the unexpected guests and wanted them to know so. Anakin considerably quickened his pace. He came up close behind Garen and tried to take his mind off the trees by asking questions. He was good at this, and he always had _some_ question to ask.

"Where did you learn to fly like that?" he asked for a start. He preferred to start with small talk, and then begin asking more serious questions. But this was still a pretty serious question to him. Garen smiled and settled into his memories in order to give the most accurate account.

"Well," he began slowly, "some time ago there was a Jedi flight program to teach young students to fly starships and transports. I was part of it, and my Master, Clee Rhara, had charge of all the students there."

Anakin looked up expectantly. "Was Master Obi-wan part of it?" he asked eagerly.

Garen shook his head. "No, his Master wouldn't allow it," he said sadly. He remembered how, when Clee Rhara had first started the program, Obi-wan had wanted to join Garen at the base, but Qui-gon had gone against it, saying that Obi-wan was better off staying at the Temple and studying. Obi-wan had been greatly disappointed, and he and Garen had been separated for several years.

Anakin went on to the next question on his mind. "How come I don't hear about this program anymore?" He had never remembered hearing about the Jedi flight program. If he had, he would have been sure to be a part of it.

Garen spotted a branch on the ground and bent to pick it up. "Because the Council decided to drop it," he answered casually. He moved on to another branch on the ground.

Anakin picked up a slightly smaller branch as his questions became more serious. "What did you do after they dropped the program?" he hurried to catch back up to Garen, who had somehow gotten a considerable distance ahead.

Garen answered without breaking stride. "I finished my training with Master Rhara." There was something mischievous in his eyes as he left the answer hanging in the air between himself and the young Padawan.

Anakin wasn't satisfied. "Did you and Master Obi-wan spend a lot of time together while you were in training?" he asked, trying to get a more detailed answer out of Garen. He knew that this man had been one of his Master's best friends. The question was: Did he know anything about Obi-wan's past that the Jedi Knight was hiding?

Garen's smile widened as he slowed a bit to look Anakin in the eye. "Of course we did," he said. "We were best friends. Why do you want so badly to know?" He could guess, but he had made a promise to a friend, and he didn't want to break it. So he played around with Anakin's mind, diverting the conversation as subtly and as well as he could.

Fortunately for Garen, Anakin didn't notice. "I was just wondering," he answered, trying not to look too eager, but failing considerably. "Why does Master Obi-wan dislike talking to Master Adi so much?" he finally asked quickly after a short pause.

Garen fell suddenly silent, the mischievous smile gone from his face. He turned away, once again busying himself with finding material for a shelter. Anakin began to have his suspicions of what was really going on. "He doesn't like to talk about it," Garen answered simply. And nor did he, especially without Obi-wan's permission.

Anakin quickly caught on. "Yeah, I noticed," he stated glumly, then his spirits returned and he tried again to get some information out of the pilot. "But I want to know why!" he said loudly. "Why doesn't he like to talk about it? There must be a reason, and I want to know!"

Garen turned back to him sadly. "There is a reason, Anakin," he said. He fought with himself for a few moments. He knew what he had to do. The trouble was, he just couldn't do it.

* * *

A/N: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Cliffie! OK, so, what did you guys think? I'd've liked it to get more intersting, but that conversation was getting a bit long. Anyway, let me know if I was inconsistent with the name of the city. I can't remember if I mentioned it more than once, and I made a last minute change, so, yeah... And let me know if you liked it! I love reviews! One last note: Jandalf, if you are reading this, I am so sorry to have stolen your boyfriend away from you! :) 


	6. Hidden Reasons, Diffucult Decisions

A/N: Warning: There are some rather graphic scenes in this chapter, not to mention that it's long. The scenes I speak of are not like R rated, but possibly PG-13. Probably just PG, but I wouldn't know how to rate it. It's probably OK, I just thought I'd warn ya'll!

Eowyn Skywalker: Yes... mind-probing. I intend on using it again later, I think. Don't worry, it'll stay interesting! And I don't know if you COMPLETELY know where this is going! Not the details, at least...

Mystress Daedra: No, it's not a bad thing, just... different, that's all. I just didn't want to come to the wrong conclusion about your straight-forwardness. Glad you like it! Keep reading!

SoloKenobi: blushes Why thank you! It's great to get so many great compliments! I'm so glad you like it so much to keep reading, even when it seems to reach some kind of dead end... not sure if that has ever happened, but still! Keep those reviews coming!

Miss Krux: Yes, I read every one I could get my hands on! Of course, that was Dark Rival, Shattered Peace, Deceptions, and The Followers. I admit, not a lot, but Deceptions really gave me an insight toObi's relationship with Garen and Bant.

Foral McDer: AGH! The only reason you get away with that is because you're my BROTHER! Glad you like it... didn't have to be so picky though, did you? giggles Sibling rivallry...

And now, with not much more to say, (other than an apology to my dear GrandMaster for what will now happen to poor Obi) here is the next chapter!

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**Chapter 6: Hidden Reasons, Difficult Decisions**

Anakin waited expectantly. _Finally,_ he thought excitedly,_ I'm going to get some answers!_ He stood as patiently as he could. Garen took a deep breath. Well, this is what it had come to. Now he had to do it. No matter how much he didn't want to, there was no avoiding it. _He_ was going to be really disappointed.

_This is it,_ he thought. Then another idea came to his mind. "There is a reason," he said again. "But you know, Anakin, not all reasons need to be known. Your Master asked me a long time ago to promise not to tell anyone his reason. I can't break that promise just because you want to know a reason, can I?" He hoped desperately that this would work.

Anakin thought this over for a while. He hadn't thought of it like that. Maybe Garen was right. He looked up at Garen, his eyes thoughtful. "I suppose not," he said, still thinking. "I guess I didn't think of that. Did he really tell you his secrets?"

Garen nodded. "Most of them. And most of the time, I was the only one he told about them. But my guess would be that, if he wanted you to know, he would tell you himself, don't you think?" Garen waited almost anxiously, hoping he had successfully gotten himself out of the mess he had nearly gotten himself into.

Anakin thought some more about this. Garen's argument sounded reasonable enough, but even if he was just trying to get out of telling, Anakin figured he was better off helping than standing around asking questions. He nodded. "I guess you're right," he answered as earnestly as he could. He still thought he should know about these things, whether Garen wanted to tell him or not, and he didn't think his Master would ever tell him. So he feigned agreement, resolving to persist the matter later.

Garen smiled at him. "Good," he said, clearly pleased that he had gotten out of that. "Now," he continued. "Are we going to find those branches, or will we have to go back to camp empty-handed?" Anakin grinned and started searching for branches, his mind all the time working out how exactly he was going to get this information out of _someone_.

Suddenly Garen stiffened. He didn't know if he had heard something, or if it was just a feeling, but something was wrong. He could feel some uncontrollable malice, some wild anger unleashed nearby. He dropped the branches he was carrying and turned to Anakin. The boy seemed to have picked it up also. "What is it?" he asked the Padawan. He wanted to see what the Anakin thought of the situation.

Anakin had a troubled look on his face. "I can't tell," he answered carefully, reaching out tentatively toward the feeling. "But I think someone's in trouble!"

"I agree," Garen said nodding. "Let's go back to camp. I hope no one's hurt!"

The two of them ran back through the forest the way they had come. Over it all, the tall wroshyr trees loomed darkly, uncaring about anything, continuing their long growth upward, heedless of the world of danger beneath them.

* * *

Bant Eerin studied the other two figures in the clearing carefully. Obi-Wan had stood up and was walking the perimeter of the camp site, supposedly to make sure there was nothing amiss nearby. But Bant knew better. He was trying to pull himself together, to avoid the inevitable stress breakdown of nine years ago. Perhaps he was even trying to muster the courage to tell Adi the truth.

Bant turned her attention to Adi Gallia, who was sitting down next to her, the eight tentacle-like tails of her Corellian headdress draped gracefully down her back. She was obviously thinking very hard about something, and Bant thought she knew what it was, but couldn't be sure.

As a matter of fact, Adi was thinking. She was once again thinking about Obi-Wan, but this time she was forcing herself to think about him. She remembered when she was twenty-one years old. She had already become a Jedi Knight, and her Master, Mace Windu, had told her she was going to be on the Council. She had always been a fast learner, and it had finally paid off. She had gone to tell Obi-Wan, but to the day she could not figure out why. Maybe it was because she wanted to taunt him. Maybe it was because she wanted him to say something serious about it. Whatever the reason, he had responded differently than she had expected. Everything, it seemed to her, was different than she expected.

* * *

_"You're on the Council now?"_

_"Yes, I am. I always was a fast learner. Well, faster than you, at any rate!"_

_"Or so you'd like to believe."_

_"You're joking again, aren't you?"_

_"I was? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought that was why you told me. Didn't you want some sort of humor to lighten the situation?"_

_"I don't know what I wanted. I don't even know why I came to tell you. I just..."_

_"Just what?"_

_"Never mind. Why are you so serious all the time now?"_

_"We don't need to get into that."_

_"Why not? You're awfully secretive these days. What are you trying to keep from me? Tell me!"_

_"Whatever it was, it's in the past now. There's no need to bring up past grievances."_

_"Then why do I get the feeling it's not as over as you'd like to think?"

* * *

_

He hadn't answered. He had left the comment hanging, turning away and avoiding her gaze. Now that she thought about it, he had had traces of that pained look in his face at the time. Perhaps it was something he needed to talk about, no matter how much he didn't want to. Well, she was going to make him tell her, no matter what it took. She stood up decisively and walked over to where he stood staring at the ground, seemingly deep in thought.

Obi-Wan looked up as she approached, almost dreading what she was there for. He knew. She knew that he knew. They were out of sight and hearing range of anyone else. That should have given him some confidence, but it didn't. On the contrary, he was more on edge. There was no where else to hide from her. He would have to tell her.

She could sense his disquiet. In a way, it pushed her farther forward. She knew she had him in a corner. But she tried to act as calm as possible. She didn't want to make things harder for him. She just wanted answers to her own questions. She walked up and stood in front of him, holding his gaze firmly with her own.

"What's wrong?" she asked firmly, almost simply. It was the one thing that had been on her mind since they had started this mission. There had to be something eating at him. She desperately wanted to know what it was. He looked at her with a cornered, surrendered look in his bright eyes.

"I suppose there's no more avoiding you, is there?" he asked in response. He could feel it all coming. His biggest secret was about to come crashing down. There was nothing he could do.

Adi shook her head, waiting. "No, so I suggest you just stop trying. I know something's bothering you. Why don't you just tell me?" She stood there, waiting patiently while he made up his mind. Part of her was eager to find out what was going on. Part of her was dreading it.

Finally, he drew a deep breath and faced her determinedly. He had to tell her, no matter what she said about it. "Adi," he began. "There's something I need to tell you, and I should have told you a long time ago."

Adi smirked. "I thought so," she said triumphantly. "I've been trying for years to get it out of you. Am I finally going to get some answers?" She watched him carefully, waiting for some kind of response from the young man.

He nodded, an almost sad look in his eyes, as if he knew what she would say, and yet also knew that her finding out was inevitable. "Yes," he answered slowly. "You're going to get the answers you've been looking for, but it won't be easy for either of us." He hesitated for a moment, trying to get a grip on his feelings, trying to put his thoughts together so he could tell them to her. It seemed to him to be an impossible feat, and yet he was able to get them together enough to get them out.

"What do you mean, it won't be easy?" Adi asked cautiously, prodding him forward. She wanted to get this over as soon as possible. He was starting to scare her a little, and she didn't know why. She sought out his eyes, which had somehow dropped again to the ground, and held them there with her own. There was something else there, besides the yielding to her questioning, besides the pain of the unknown torment. Something that was avoiding her, and yet reaching out for her, yearning to be discovered, and yet afraid of being found. She wondered if this _was_ the hidden torture, this strange feeling that was tearing him two ways.

Obi-Wan gazed at her, knowing she was finally glimpsing something of his feelings, but he wouldn't let her see them. Not yet, at least. He would have her wait, until he had explained some less complicated things. If she would let him, that is. She was getting impatient with him, and he could feel it.

* * *

_"It's nothing serious."

* * *

_

The memory came back to him. If only he could say the same to Adi. But chances were she'd just tell him that it _was_ serious, that she was really worried, and that he had to tell her, no matter what. And yet he could just barely get words out of his mouth.

"Adi," Obi-Wan said shakily. "Did... did Qui-Gon talk to you much about your secret admirer after... after that day you found your last gift?" He tried to remember exactly what Qui-Gon had told him. He remembered that his Master had said he would have to talk to Adi, but didn't remember if he had said exactly what he was going to say.

Adi looked at him curiously, but answered his question as truthfully as possible, none-the-less. "Well," she said absent-mindedly, as she went back into her memories. "He came to me that day I told you about the flower, and told me he had found my secret admirer. He also told me you were sick that day. I wondered what had happened, but he said it was best to leave you be that day. You were never quite the same afterwards, and you never told me what happened."

Obi-Wan was silent for a moment as he thought back to the terrible day he had been mind probed by his Master. "That was also the day Qui-Gon decided to find out my deepest secrets," he said quietly, almost humorously, trying to make it sound like a coincidence and failing miserably.

Adi caught on all too well, but hid it for a while longer. "He also said that when the time came, he would tell me who it was. I suppose..." her breath caught in her throat as she remembered the Jedi Master, what he had been to her, how much he had meant to everyone at the Temple, the great loss everyone felt now that he was gone.

Obi-Wan knew how she felt. He felt the same way himself, only deeper. His relationship with Qui-Gon had been much deeper, more of a father-son relationship than anything else. But past aside, he still had something to tell Adi. "I knew who your secret admirer was," he said, his voice low. He didn't want anyone else hearing, although there was no one around to hear. He could see her waiting eagerly, awaiting the one thing she had longed to know for as long as she could remember. He sighed as he turned away. He couldn't do this to her. He couldn't tell her this, tell her the cold truth of it, bring her hopes crashing down on her. But he had to.

He turned back to her, one thing shining out from his blue eyes. Adi shrank back at what she saw there. She had known it might be true, but she didn't want to believe it. She was scared by what she saw in his eyes, and yet something in her was mesmerized by it. Something deep within her said that she had always known, told her that it was nothing less than what was in the deepest places of her own feelings. And something screamed out at her that what she was about to do was the wrong reaction to what she was experiencing.

"No," she whispered fearfully, shrinking back still more, giving in to the feeling that told her to push it away, giving in to the terror and shock of it all. She saw the pain and regret in his face as he saw what she thought of it, but also she could discern that same I-told-you-so look mirroring her own. He had known she would react like this. Why had he let her know?

That other side of her popped out again. _Look what you have done!_ But she hadn't done anything, had she? _You are not worthy of what he is trying to give you! _What was that voice talking about?_ How could you do this to him when all he's ever done is love you? _She hadn't done anything, aside from what she was supposed to do, she was sure of it. _You are blind! You still cannot see! After all these years you couldn't see it! You very well may have lost your chance._ But she hadn't wanted that chance in the first place, she argued. _Oh, you didn't, did you? Then why were you so disappointed when Qui-Gon told you there would be no more secret admirer?_

Adi didn't have a chance to respond, for at that moment, Obi-Wan found the courage to speak. "I had to tell you," he said, his voice shaking, almost desperate. "You have to believe me, Adi." Adi just shook her head, continuing to back away. "Adi, I love you." There, it was finally out, and yet there was no escape from it, nor was there any stopping the sudden torrent of his feelings from spilling themselves over.

"No," Adi said again, stronger this time. At least one of them needed some control, and he seemed to have lost his completely. She had to take a firm stand, had to resist this thing that had somehow welled up between them. That little voice inside her was screaming at her to stop acting like this, to stop being so foolish. But the other side of her screamed louder that these feelings _were_ foolish, that acting like this was the best alternative. She was torn between the two, torn between her training and the temptation of this feeling, the young man standing before her nearly begging her to listen to that smaller voice.

"Adi, you have to understand," he went on, seeing the fight going on inside her. "I tried to forget about it, but I can't! No matter what Qui-Gon said, no matter what you say, I can't deny my feelings any longer. They're too deeply rooted to just pass off anymore. I love you, and there's nothing more to it. And yet there doesn't need to be. It couldn't be any simpler than that, and yet you think it's so complicated. Just listen to me."

He reached impulsively for her hand, trying to sway her toward that faint voice inside her. "No!" she screamed pulling away and finally running back toward the camp, toward her safe friends, toward a place where she could hide from it all. She looked back once, and immediately regretted not only the decision to look back, but also her reaction to what he had told her. She saw there in his face more pain and torment than he had ever shown. But it was there for only a moment more, and then his face was once again a mask of his emotions.

She rushed back into the clearing, one hand to her head. She felt dizzy, elated, frustrated, disappointed with herself. She saw Bant standing, her yellow eyes focused on the darkness of the forest ahead. It took Adi a moment to sift through the confusion in her own mind, but she soon picked up on what was wrong. There, just beyond the tree line, was a large Corellian sand panther. Their supplies and weapons were a farther distance behind them than the panther was in front of them.

Adi stopped dead in her tracks. The sand-panther was obviously imported, though whether it had escaped from some circus or its parents had escaped from some other situation was not important. She could feel the creature's malice, its terrible intent all too clear. The great monster was about to have lunch if something didn't happen soon.

Something did happen. The great beast leaped swiftly toward them. Bant stood there looking at Adi, her eyes mirroring the same thing Adi was feeling. This was it, the end of it all. They were weaponless, and it was doubtful Garen would get there in time. Adi closed her eyes, waiting for the inevitable death that was sure to come.

It never did.

After several seconds, Adi opened her eyes. She almost wished she hadn't, for the scene that greeted her was far from pleasant. The panther had been somehow knocked on its back in mid-leap, but was now rolling back over, something pinned beneath its large paws. It didn't take Adi long to see that it was a human. _Garen?_ She soon saw also, though, that it wasn't Garen.

As the beast prepared to slice him with its gigantic claws, Obi-Wan gathered his feet up and kicked the enormous monster in the stomach. It only gave him a moment, but that moment was all he needed to roll out from under the creature. Howling in rage, the monster came at him. He had no time to draw his lightsaber, which was attached to his belt. All he could do was dodge the monster's enormous claws and hideously large teeth. This he did as best he could, while all the time trying to get a free moment to draw his weapon.

Adi immediately ran toward the supplies, searching out her lightsaber. She was completely terrified, but she knew Obi-Wan wouldn't hold out long against that creature virtually weaponless. Finally, she found it. It was a unique build, designed for reverse handling. The brass-colored emission plate gleamed in the failing light. Gripping it tightly with the plate facing down, she raced back toward the terrible beast. It was beginning to gain an advantage. At any moment it could easily slice Obi-Wan down. It now had him down on the ground and was once again preparing to cut through his back with its great claws.

Adi flicked her crimson blade on. It came to life with a hissing sound, and the hum that emitted from the bright blade drew the creature's attention away from its prey. Adi twirled it around once, then lunged at the sand panther, aiming for its throat. The creature had amazing reflexes. It ducked as the red blade passed harmlessly over it, then rose back up to jump at her. Adi moved her lightsaber in position to bring it down at the creature, but she had underestimated the monster's intelligence. Instead of jumping forward at her, it jumped back, out of the way of the laser-sword. Then it pounced back forward and sliced at the bright weapon in her hand. One claw connected with the emission plate, severing it from the hilt and cutting the power.

Adi fell back from the force of the blow. Obi-Wan was just reaching for his own weapon, having gotten back to his feet, when the monster turned once again to him and knocked him back down to the ground. His head struck the side of a rock as he landed on his back, and, turning his head for a split second, he realized that there were several sharp rocks lying nearby. He reached out with his right hand, searching for a good sized one, while keeping off the monster's large paws with his left hand. At last, his hand reached a smooth, flat stone that was slightly curved, in a shape more or less like a knife. One edge was jagged and sharp as a vibroblade. Taking it up in his right hand and shifting it into a usable position, he turned back to the panther.

The creature raised one paw to slice at him. In that moment, Obi-Wan rolled back out from underneath the monster, striking out at the beast with his primitive weapon. The stone just barely grazed the panther's right shoulder, leaving a minor wound. Screaming in pain, the monster lunged again, slashing and slicing with its massive claws. Obi-Wan blocked as well as he could with his stone knife, but the sand panther was once again gaining an advantage.

Just then, the great monstrous beast reared up on its hind legs and gave a tremendous leap, its massively heavy paws connecting with the young Jedi's chest and knocking him once more to the ground. The impact very nearly knocked the wind out of Obi-Wan, but fortunately he was able to keep his grip on the sharp stone in his hand. The panther was getting smarter. Placing one heavy paw on Obi-Wan to hold him down, it raised its other paw, claws bared menacingly, fully intending to finally and completely terminate this nuisance that stood between it and its meal. Obi-Wan tried to move to the side, but the creature's paw prevented him from moving far enough.

It was then that the creature's claws found a mark. Obi-Wan stifled a cry as pain shot through his left shoulder. The rest of his arm seemed to have gone numb. He slashed out with the knife-like stone at the panther's left shoulder, digging it in so that the creature would take its paw off of him. Howling with pain and anger, the monster lifted its body farther from the ground in a failing effort to get away. Obi-Wan reached up with his right arm and dug the sharp rock into the beast's chest. Dark blood trickled out from the fatal wound, spilling onto the ground, staining the dirt and rocks below the panther. The monster howled once more, then fell silent as it toppled forward onto its vanquisher.

Adi watched in horror and relief as the great beast fell dead. She went slowly forward, fearing the worse. She had seen the sand panther's wounding strike. She wondered if it was already too late. Bant ran forward after her, worry clearly evident in her sad eyes. As they worked together to heave the great beast off, Adi could hear that small voice in her head, scolding her once more.

_I told you so! You don't deserve what he just did! Can you truthfully tell me now that you don't love him?_ Adi didn't know how to respond. She was caught in her feelings, caught between wanting to continue resisting and wanting to give in and follow her feelings. And yet the small voice was winning.

Garen and Anakin burst into the clearing just as Bant and Adi were pulling the unconscious warrior from beneath the dead sand panther. The sharp stone was still embedded in the monster's heart.

* * *

MWAHAHAHA! Another evil cliffie! OK, so let me know what you guys think! Sorry again, Jandalf!


	7. Realizations

A/N: It's finally here! The end to all your anxious waiting! The answer to some of your questions! The missing piece of the cliffie! In short, the next CHAPTER!

SoloKenobi: Thank you for your continued support! This one's for you! I know that was an evil cliffie, but I suppose that's just my dark side coming out! You will probably see some more before this story is finished!

jedi keliam kenobi: I know, I'm evil! Glad you like my style of writing. Some people find it hard to read. glares meaningfully at Master Anyway, I regret to announce that I can't give you the answers to any of your questions. Maybe this chapter will give you some answers!

Padawan Sydney Bristow: Wow... someone actually LIKED the cliffie! Glad you all like my story. It started out as a pretty bad idea in my opinion. I guess I'm not alone in my tastes in this world!

Éowyn Skywalker: I'm glad it was PG... I was afraid I was getting too graphic... aaaaaaannd... thanks for warning me. I might just stay away! Just kidding. But, in all seriousness... growl I KNOW I'm improving on my style. It might have a bit to do with all the beta reading you've been doing for me. Sorry about not sending this one to you, but I wanted to get it up as soon as I finished it! And, yes, I am my RP mother's daughter... and maybe my RP father's, as well, in a sense. We shall see where RotS goes...

passon: Thank you. Glad you liked it. I'm sorry to have to break this to you, but I don't work on a 20 day update schedule. I update when I have the next chapter, so you may wait a minimum of two days, or a minimum of two months. Whenever I find time on the computer. I have school and whatnot during the day, and I don't have my own computer, so please bear with me. Hopefully you will enjoy this next chapter!

A/N: Enough of my talk! You all want to know what happened to our poor, rejected Jedi, don't you? Unfortunately, we once again ran into a long conversation, so there won't be much action for a while. Sorry! I promise, the part of the story with which you first fell in love will return in due time! And now, on with the story!

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**Chapter 7: Realizations**

Darkness. It was all around him. It swirled about and beyond him, catching him up in its cold arms. Nothing but darkness, no sounds, no sight, no feeling. Nothing. And yet something came through to him, something far away. A memory, perhaps, but it felt like reality. A voice, male, yet not recognizable in his unconscious state. "How could you, Obi-Wan?"it said. "Why did you do it?" His mind raced. _Qui-Gon!_ It must have been his Master. His Master must be upset with him, but why? _The mind probing!_ His heart sank as it all came back to him. That must be it. His Master had found out his secret, and now his worst fears were coming true.

The darkness was beginning to clear. He could almost hear other voices speaking worriedly just beyond his reach. His left shoulder was suddenly throbbing with pain. _Why? _Why was his shoulder hurting so much? _The wall._ He remembered blacking out and hitting a wall. Had he hit it that hard? No, there must have been some other reason.

The voices were becoming clearer now. A female voice, young and distressed, and a male voice, strong and concerned. He could hear the man speaking now, and was able to identify it as the voice that he had first heard. "I just don't understand why he had to do that," he said. _Garen!_

He remembered now. The mission, the trip to Kashyyyk, the sand panther attack. It was all coming back in a rush, like water in a river that's been blocked up and then is suddenly released. He slowly opened his eyes, taking in the surroundings gradually to prevent potential shock. He was fully awake now, the throbbing pain in his shoulder becoming more intense, his breath coming in short rasps.

Garen had been bending anxiously over him, but now he straightened, a relieved smile forming on his face. "Well, he's alive," he said, trying to sound cheerful. "That's better than nothing, right?" Obi-Wan tried to piece together what Garen might mean.

Adi smiled weakly at him. "How are you feeling?" she asked quietly. She had tears shining in her eyes.

Obi-Wan couldn't figure out what was wrong. Obviously, something else had happened, either during the panther fight or while he was unconscious. He turned to Adi and tried to answer her question. Unfortunately, he could not yet assess the damage the panther had caused when the claws had come in contact with his shoulder. "I don't know," he answered truthfully. "What happened?" he asked after a moment. Everything was a bit vague to him after the monster had fallen on top of him. As a matter of fact, he didn't remember anything after that point.

Tears threatened to spill over Adi's deep, dark blue eyes as she gazed at him. He had given her so much, and yet he didn't even know what he had done. She went slowly, not wanting to shock him, but not knowing how else to tell him. "We pulled you out after you killed the sand panther. You were unconscious. Otherwise, we would have asked you the same question. Garen and Anakin arrived shortly afterwards. They helped us get you back to the campsite." She stopped, her voice faltering. She couldn't do this to him. She mustn't! The smaller voice had won. She realized the one thing she had always known and never wanted to admit. She loved him. And now it very well may be too late.

Obi-Wan glanced at Garen, then back at Adi. He didn't understand it. Why were they acting like this? He tried to sit up so he could think clearer, supporting himself on his hands. He stretched out his right arm to push himself up, and moved to do the same with his left arm. Suddenly, he fell unexpectedly to his side, his left arm giving out. At least, that's what it seemed like. He glanced to his left to see why that had happened. _Where was it?_ There was no left arm there. All that was left was a ragged wound where the monster's claw had come in contact with his arm, just below the shoulder.

Laying carefully back down, he lifted his eyes slowly until they came to rest on Adi's distressed face. Her eyes held something he almost couldn't read. But he knew what it was, half hidden there, wanting so desperately to come out. "Why did you do it?" she asked, her voice choked with tears.

Obi-Wan lay there a moment, grasping everything. This could get in the way of their mission. They didn't have medical supplies to treat something like this. How would that affect their assignment? In between it all, Adi's question came through to him. He gazed at her, his eyes mirroring the hidden feeling in hers, mirroring the answer she half hoped would be there, but half hoped would not. "You know, don't you?" he asked in return. She nodded, dropping her gaze, the tears finally spilling over and streaming down her face.

Obi-Wan reached for her hand, clasping it reassuringly with the only hand he had left. She raised her gaze back to his face, seeing there the pain he was enduring for her, seeing how he was trying to hide it for her sake. She didn't pull away this time. She squeezed his hand back, sharing with him the one moment they had been avoiding for nine years. There was no more avoiding it anymore. All they had left was to hide it, but who knew how long that would last? It was all so inescapable, so inevitable.

Garen watched them for a moment, sensing the feeling that passed between them, the same knowingness that there was nowhere to hide from their feelings. He knew then that Obi-Wan had finally told her. He had to admit, he felt better about it all, now that Adi knew. But it was still a secret that he had to try to keep. If the Council found out, Obi-Wan could still be expelled from the order.

Adi heard a sound behind her and turned to see Bant looking out from the small shelter they had been able to hastily construct. Garen turned also, smiling grimly at Bant, who was searching his face for some sign as to what was happening. She advanced tentatively, dreading what she might find. "It's all right," Garen said quietly. "He's alive." Bant breathed a sigh of relief and hurried forward.

She rushed up, dropping to her knees near Obi-Wan's head. "What are we going to do?" she asked worriedly. "We can't just leave him here!" Adi glanced away, afraid she might agree verbally. She still didn't want to admit the truth to anyone else.

Garen shook his head. "Of course we can't leave him, and we won't," he said determinedly. _These two are falling apart on me,_ he thought sadly. _I have to be strong for them. I've got to take control of this!_ In truth, though, Garen was as much at a loss as any of them.

Obi-Wan glanced at each face in turn, summing up their options. For a brief moment, he wondered if leaving him behind had at any point been in the back of their minds, but he quickly dismissed the idea. His friends would never abandon him. Trying to slow his quick breaths, he glanced back at Garen, the only seeming strong point in the center of the crisis. But he could still see the uncertainty and turmoil in his friend's mind.

"What do you propose we do, then?" he asked pointedly. He could find no other way out of it. He was endangering the mission. He would have to remain here, alone in the clearing, hoping that his friends would be able to return for him when they were finished with their important mission.

Garen shook his head again. "I don't know," he said at last. Adi turned away again. She was just barely able to keep the tears from spilling over again.

Bant suddenly stood and gazed determinedly at the despairing group. "We'll just have to take him with us," she said strongly, taking control of the situation. "We must keep going!"

"How?" Adi asked desperately, whirling around. "How do we know something else isn't wrong? How do we even know he can stand?" Bant glanced at her compassionately.

"We won't know until we try," Obi-Wan commented grimly. Garen nodded in agreement.

* * *

A/N: sigh I know, another evil cliffie! But the talk was getting long, and I wanted to stop in a good spot... Anyway, hope you enjoyed this! Oh, and for those of you who read Jedi Apprentice, I have heard some rather strange rumors that Adi's Padawan Siri was supposed to be Obi's girl... Oh well! I can do what I want, can't I? I mean, it is a fanfic after all! Await the next chapter in anticipation! I have a few special twists planned! Things are going to happen that you least expected! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 


	8. I Wish

A/N: I am so very sorry it took so long to get this updated! I got... er... stuck... But don't worry! As always, the wait is long, but (I hope) the results are worth it! I know this chapter is a little long to not really go anywhere, but I can almost guarantee that they will be at Kapitenochan by the end of the next chapter. I'm just not positive how yet... Anyway, shoutouts!

**SoloKenobi:** Don't worry! The twists are coming very soon!

**Jedi-Keliam-Kenobi:** Yup, his arm got chopped off... And I have just recently read Secrets myself... and I'm rather disappointed with myself for breaking them up... might have to put her in here somewhere...

**Eowyn Skywalker: **sulks Fine. No more glaring... And I can be as mean as I want! Don't you remember Hunter? smacks hand over mouth No more here! Can't talk about that... Glad you think I'm getting better, though!

**Padawan Sydney Bristow:** Yeah, poor Obi... And more so in this chapter!

**mikigm31:** Uh... 'cause he's a brat? Yeah, I don't care for Ani too much... but I guess I don't really have an answer for your question... maybe it was past his bedtime... Anyway, there is definitely more Anakin for this chapter! blushes You really think I do conversations well? I'm... I'm touched...

**Ashes Kittyhawk:** Glad you like it! Hopefully this ending is less of a cliffie...

**BabeBunny:** Here's your update!

To Foral McDerson Windu, I wish you would review more! Alright, enough yapping. You all want to hear what happens next! All 2,011 words of it...

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Chapter 8: I Wish...

Adi bowed her head. She didn't want to have to see Obi-Wan like this. But, then again, she just couldn't leave him. She was too worried about him. And so, when Bant and Garen rejoined Anakin in the shelter, Adi stayed with Obi-Wan. She sat next to him, deep in thought. She hadn't yet had a chance to put the pieces together. She had been so caught up with the sudden shock of discovering that the one person she disliked the most in the universe, or that she thought she disliked most in the universe, loved her. It was something she just couldn't understand, couldn't grasp, and yet, here she was, the most concerned over the young man's condition.

Adi thought back to her childhood, specifically to the day Qui-Gon had come to her with the news that he had discovered the identity of her secret admirer. That was the day she had received her last gift in front of her door. She had seen Obi-Wan and Garen with Bant a little later on. And that was also the day Qui-Gon's Padawan had fallen strangely ill. Now it all made much more sense. That was probably the day Obi-Wan told them, or at least one of them. He must have gone into some kind of emotional breakdown.

Still deep in thought, Adi absent-mindedly stroked his face. Suddenly, she was jarred out of her thoughts. She pulled her hand away. Something was wrong. Her mind was worn out from so much thinking and lack of sleep, and it took her a while to register the sensation of heat on her hand. She blinked several times as her hand cooled, glancing down at the sleeping Jedi Knight. She once again placed her hand gently on Obi-Wan's face, drawing a sharp breath as heat once again coursed through her hand. She drew it slowly away again, placing it against her own skin. She was surprised at how quickly her hand cooled, at how chilled her own face was. It was only then that she noticed the cold breeze blowing through the dark camp.

Her weary feet moving sluggishly slow, Adi walked to the shelter as fast as her legs would take her. Though, to her panicked mind, it was too slow. She hated to wake Garen at this hour, especially with all they needed to do tomorrow morning. But she didn't have much choice. Obi-Wan might be in serious trouble. She wanted to have Garen there just in case something was seriously wrong, in case she wasn't able to take the emotional strain on her own.

Garen's eyes flew open as Adi started shaking him. Whatever was wrong, it was making her desperate. "What's wrong?" he asked as he stood up and walked outside with her.

Adi shook her head as they walked. "I'm not sure yet," she answered in a fearful undertone.

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Bant watched the two walking outside. Garen threw her a reassuring look over his shoulder, though she could tell it was only half felt. Bant tried not to worry, but it was getting difficult. She sat up and glanced around the meager shelter in an attempt to occupy her mind. Sleep would no longer be possible for her.

Young Anakin Skywalker stirred on his cot across the room, then turned over and sat up, flicking his eyes uncertainly about the empty shelter. His blue eyes came to rest upon the Mon Calamari, and the depth of uneasy fear within them tore at her. She went over to him and sat down next to his cot, placing a reassuring arm around his shoulders.

Anakin raised his eyes to meet hers. "Will Master Obi-Wan be alright?" he asked in a low, fearful tone. Bant turned her silvery eyes toward the shelter entrance through which her friends had disappeared.

"I hope so, Anakin," she answered after a while of silence. "Oh, I certainly hope so." She turned back to him and tried to smile, but they could both see the uncertainty and concern in the other's eyes. And so they sat on in silence, waiting anxiously for some news of their comrade.

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Garen placed a hand on Obi-Wan's forehead, then moved it down to his cheek. He shook his head, frowning, then moved the crude bandage aside from the wounded shoulder. Adi flinched visibly and looked away. Garen shook his head again and looked over at Adi, who gazed longingly at him for good news.

Garen sighed. "Not good," he whispered quietly. "He's in no condition to travel, and he won't be for several days. I'm afraid it's become infected."

Adi's stomach churned and her heart raced. Tearful eyes dropped down to the sleeping young man stretched out before the small fire in the center of the clearing. "But there's no medic for miles," she whispered back. "He'll have to travel. We have no choice."

Garen's eyes dropped as well. "No, we don't," he replied. "That's what worries me. He may not have a chance." Adi closed her eyes, tried to close herself from the truth. Finally, she had realized the one thing that she had known her whole life, realized she was more than just deeply loved, she was cared for. And now it was too late. The truth of this tore at her heart, ripped her insides apart, battered around her mind, echoed in her head. Tears once again spilled down her face onto the ground in front of her.

Garen wrapped his arms about her shoulders and sat her gently down on the forest floor. Sitting down beside her, he tilted his head back and stared at the star-studded black field just beyond the tree tops. He couldn't help thinking that somewhere out there was a world where they all would have been safer. If only they had stayed there, that is. He forced the thought from his mind. _This won't help things_, he thought.

Adi lowered herself slowly to the ground. She was too tired to think about anything anymore. Everything seemed out of her control now, and it made her feel uncomfortable.

Garen stood and walked quietly back to the shelter. Bant was still in there, he knew, and she needed to know what was going on. Adi stayed behind again, lying on her side, parallel to Obi-Wan, facing him. She could not tear her eyes away from him, nor did she want to. It almost seemed like he was as fragile as a dream, like he might disappear if she turned away just one more time.

She reached out and touched his face again. It felt hot, like it had been burned. He stirred slightly at her touch this time, turning his face toward her. His eyes opened half-way, looking at her. She froze instantly, almost afraid of waking him up. He reached up to take her hand.

Adi's first impulse was to pull away. She almost did. Yet something in his eyes kept her still as he clasped her hand in his. "Is everything all right?" he whispered.

Adi wanted to tell him that everything was fine, but something deep within her almost brought the entire truth right out. Between trying to say something and trying to keep that voice quiet, she could only nod. A faint smile flitted across her face before disappearing behind a fresh cloud of grief. She thought she might start crying again, but her tears were spent.

Obi-Wan saw the struggle on her face clearly. He wished there was something he could do for her. But he knew that there was nothing to be done. There wasn't much to say, either. And so they both fell silent and waited for dawn.

* * *

Anakin rose as soon as it was light enough to see by. He was restless by nature and felt that he needed to be out and doing things as soon as he possibly could. As he walked outside the shelter, he began to think about his short past as a Jedi. There wasn't much to think about, since he had only been with the Jedi Order for a year. But there were a good deal of lessons to think about and meditate on.

Not that he particularly enjoyed meditating. It was much too dull for his restless life-style. He had often wondered if other Jedi ever had as much trouble focusing during meditation as he did. He had often meant to ask Obi-Wan, but had never gotten around to it. Right at that moment he made a mental note to ask as soon as all this was over.

As he stepped into the clearing, his eyes wandered over the forest all around him, finally coming to rest on two figures lying near the ashes of the fire. Both were asleep, there hands clasped loosely together between them.

Something about the scene before him struck Anakin strangely, as if he had seen it before somewhere. The more he thought about it, the more he was sure he had seen it in a dream somewhere. But in his dream the couple had been different. One of them had been him, he was sure. Who the woman was, he could not yet tell, or did not want to.

And then it was gone, like a morning mist, so quickly one wondered if it was half imagined. Anakin walked closer to the two, slowly and quietly so as not to wake them. Once more a shadow of his dream flitted before his eyes, too quick to grasp. He stood there a moment longer before turning back to the shelter.

Bant Eerin, the Mon Calamari, had told him the night before that his Master was in very bad condition and needed immediate medical attention. What troubled Anakin was that there was no medic for miles, which meant that…

Anakin did not finish the thought. It was too painful. He fought a strange overwhelming desire to run as he entered the shelter.

Garen was already awake. The weary young man lifted his sandy blonde head as Anakin walked over, exhaustion showing clearly in his face. He wouldn't try to hide it. There was no point. He watched Anakin closely as the young Padawan came over and sat down next to him. The boy was worried, that much was certain. But beyond that, Garen could tell nothing of his feelings. Anakin was as hard to read as indistinguishable writing. "Are you going to be alright?" he asked gently.

Anakin only nodded, staring blankly at the ground. He knew Garen was trying to be helpful, and he appreciated it, but he didn't see how anyone could understand what he was going through. None of them had had to deal with the knowledge that their Master might possibly die soon. Sure, Obi-Wan and Bant had lost their Masters, and Adi had lost a Padawan, but none of them had seen it coming. And if his Master died, he would have no one left. At the moment, Anakin Skywalker felt very alone.

It was at that moment that Garen had a glance into the boy's thoughts. A flicker, but it was enough. And he saw there not only worry, but fear. Fear for his Master. And when he looked at himself, he saw something very similar: fear for a friend. He put his hand gently on the Padawan's shoulder. "It'll be alright, Anakin," he assured him. "We'll be alright."

"I wish..." Anakin began, faltering as he tried to grasp his fleeting thoughts. The older Jedi waited patiently. "I just wish... we had stayed," he said at last, raising his gaze to meet Garen's. "If we had, none of this would have happened."

Garen nodded slowly, letting the words hang in the air for a moment longer before replying. "Wishful thinking is not the way of the Jedi," he finally said quietly. "I find myself thinking this way myself, but we must always remember that our destiny is chosen. We cannot change our past just by wishing things had been different."

Anakin's gaze dropped back to the ground. "A lesson from the Masters?" he asked sullenly.

Garen gazed out the small doorway, a sad smile playing across his lips. "No," he answered. "The words of a friend."


End file.
